Thursday, October 20, 2005

Three Questions

Question #1
There are 22 ways to break someone’s heart. One of them is to actually break the rib cage, pull it out while still beating, show it to the person, and let them fall – just like in Kung Fu movies. Aside from actually physically breaking ones heart, what are one of the other 21 ways your heart, a friends heart, or have you broken someone’s heart?

Question #2
You see idiots every day. They are at the store, drive in front of you, and leave lipstick in the public laundry. What is the best idiot story you have ever heard or seen?

Question #3
Cupid has been a busy fellow over the last few centuries. He has been making people fall for each other around the clock and has finally gotten approval for a week’s vacation. But while Cupid is out for the next week, you have to be true in your aim with sling and arrow for him. What are the five new celebrity couples I will be reading about in the tabloids next week while you are on the job?


  1. Years ago I dated someone who I thought was wonderful. He was divorced from his wife, a model - she had left him and their children to live with someone else. I had him on a pedestal because he was a wonderful father and doing well in his profession. One day he said he was taking me out to dinner at the weekend to a very special restaurant in the country which was also very posh. I was excited and spent a lot of time getting ready. He looked so handsome when he arrived and it was a lovely day. Our first course arrived and we were just tucking in when he looked at me in what I thought was a romantic way (how foolish we are) and said with tears in his eyes "I should not be here with you today, I wish I was still with my wife and we were celebrating our wedding anniversary together..."

    #1 or #2 - take your pick! :)

  2. #1--
    I'm tired of broken hearts. I've had two serious broken hearts in my turned out to be "batting for the home team" and the other I was stupid enough to marry(it's a long and boring story). Anyway, I've decided to become a bitter old maid. It's less dangerous and I'm sure to be a success at it ;) I'm already bitter, now if I could just age 30 years overnight...

    The janitor guy at my work was installing new, more cost-effective paper-towel dispensers in the restrooms this week. After an hour of pounding so loud no one could hear themselves or anyone else, he hung up his tools and called it a night. When I later went into the restroom to wash my hands, the new dispenser was securely fastened to the wall...upside down. Seriously, I thought I would pee myself laughing.

    Danny Bonaduce & Anna Nicole Smith
    Gary Coleman & Celine Dion
    Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen
    Emeril Lagasses & Roseanne Barr
    Rush Limbaugh & Elton John

  3. Ouch! Milady - I could hear that one break from this side of the pond. What an idiot!

    I have been curious why you picked that handle, and it sounds like there is a good reason. Celebrity choices are interesting; sister on sister and gay relations with polar opposites of the isle… Got a chuckle there.

  4. Hey Paul! Although you've heard it already I'll post it anyway. In response to number 1: I was dating a guy who had recently moved to town from Mexico, he was a student during one of the few times I wasn't (this was about 7 years ago). I became very close with his two sisters and considered one of them to be almost a best friend of sorts. I dated the guy for 2 1/2 months and one day I went over to his apartment. A girl answered the door and asked me who I was, I told her I was Ernesto's girlfriend. He came to the door at that moment and totally pretended like he didn't know who I was and had never laid eyes on me before. Turns out this girl had been his girlfriend for 3 years, apparently my 2 1/2 months didn't stack up in comparison. I walked out and went straight to the bar where his sisters later found me and tried to explain and apologize for not telling me all along, but they had their loyalties to their brother. So could we still be friends? Um no, sorry girls, I don't think so. Talk about getting the rug pulled out from under you. Wow-I didn't see that one coming at all. I learned a lesson and I rarely get surprised anymore.