Sunday, May 06, 2007

Kansas City Here I Come

This is my first trip since last November. It marks the longest amount of time that I have not been on a plane. Either Americans are becoming less attractive or I am less horny. My bets are not hedged either way.

Production of testosterone slows down once you hit a point in your 30’s. Maybe during these last few months the taps were turned down really low.

Perhaps the general state of the American female has declined over the last few months. Was there a rampant plague I may have missed in the news? Men seem less masculine and more metro sexual. Women have turned up the frumpy.

Today was the first time I had a bad premonition about a flight. Booked on the five something (stupid new travel agent) I tried to get on the three something. But as I stood with a handful of others on the standby list waiting for the “weight limit check from the baggage team” (which is a new excuse to me) I got the funny feeling that I should not be on that plane. Looking back, it has just been too long since I’ve flow, been in the habit.

So I went to the desk and asked if they would please remove me from the standby. They told me I was the only one who had made the flight. “Let someone else take it” I said. After they clicked their nails on the keyboard for a few seconds I was back in first class for the five something.

We will have to see if this was the right thing to do.

Waiting at the airport I watched the Tigers spank the Royals of Kansas City.

Arriving in Kansas City the rumors are true, it is raining here.

Work Ben and I jump in a cab. To no surprise the English is sketchy, but to our surprise, the volume on the music is broken. Work Ben and I can not hear a word the other says even when talking really, really loud. The driver does not turn on the defrogger and the taxi quickly becomes tropical. So imagine a drive in the darkest down pour you’ve ever been in with the windows all froggy, middle eastern music blasting, and your driver praying.

Everythings up to date in Kansas City, they gone about as fer as they can go.

3 comments:

  1. Go to the Herford House. Best Steak in KC - in my opinion, of course.

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  2. A certain quote from "Blazing Saddles" comes to mind about Kansas City...

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  3. I like your new blog photo.

    BTW, everyone here in the office has completely forgotten about you.

    sr

    ReplyDelete