Dear Christian Thomas:
First, let me welcome you to this wonderful place we call earth. We have a lot of great things to offer you here like Fago Red Pop, beautiful Michigan fall sunsets, 500 channels of cable, and the opportunity to make yourself into anything you want to be. While we have great things to offer, I wanted to take a moment and prepare you for some things that might take you twenty or so years to figure out.
We are not worried, nor should you be, about how good looking you will be. Yes, you are a good-looking baby, most are. You have the genetic build to be a very handsome man. Your mom has always been very attractive and your father wasn’t too shabby either. No matter how good looking you are, your father and mother will never be the right people to go to for advice on the ladies - please talk to your uncle Anil. He is your “go to” guy for matters of the heart and will not get uncomfortable during your teenage years.
Your fathers’ friend Marc is the one you will want to talk to about money, planning for the future, and anything to do will small towns in Ohio. You will more than likely see him often as a sitter, and he will turn out to be a very understanding if you are grounded, looking for quarters for the video game and buying you beer before you turn 21.
Mom’s friend Sara (the hottie) is whom you are going to want to call if there is a cut or broken bone for you, your parents, or eventually one of your twelve siblings. If you ever want dirt on mom to hold against her or understand who your parents are in those strange days of developing into an adult, Sara will have the scoop. Sara will always have gum or a tissue for you when you need it.
So there are really good people out there your parents have surrounded themselves with. However, there are people you will want to be cautious of, at least until you are in college (which you have to go to… sorry - it’s a federal law.) If you ever see this man… RUN!
You are in for a great adventure. No one will know that your father was Canadian or remember that your mom, dad, grandma and grandpa all get a little crazy at Put in Bay every year. What we all know, and I can personally attest to - your parents love each other very, very much. From the day they met they knew it was that kind of magical movie story love for one another. Every day they spent together they planned and dreamed of sharing their love with you. Christian Thomas, we have a great world ready for you. Listen when others speak, be honest in all you do, think before you act, volunteer your time to help others, strive to be an individual with interests and commit to a life of excellence.