Friday, September 30, 2005

I Should Have Taken the Advice

There is a new book out called “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists” by Neil Strauss. It is on order, speedy delivery, from Amazon. I have had one more dinner, meet up, hang out, hook up, evening out, or whatever we are calling it these days fall through again. It is disappointing.

I should have known years ago from what an Asian prostitute told me – “You too nice for girlfriend.” And she was right. I am too nice, too old fashion, and far too much of a gentleman for anyone not living in the 1950’s.

So I have decided to stop being nice or cordial to women. I will read this book and become a pick-up artist who cares not for ones feelings and comfort, only for the amount of notches I can put on my bed post. I am no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bed-Rock.

For that matter, I have also decided to start drinking again. What point am I trying to prove any how? Of course, with all that drinking, I might as well start smoking again. Back to the old two packs of Camel Light box habit for me.

If I go back to those old ways, why stop there? I still have that bottle of Chloroform under the sink – might as well go back to walking the dark streets at night looking for young ladies from the bar.

Just when all those needle marks on my arm, between my toes, and in the side of my eyeball were just starting to heal up, tough break for me.

Wait, that’s the phone… could it be her with a lame excuse? Or maybe a good excuse?

I don’t want to subscribe to the Wall Street Journal.

I’m going out for cigarettes and vodka to start.

You have a good weekend too.

No – I’m evil now, don’t have a good weekend.


  1. Oh Paul, don't go back to your old bad-boy ways...what with the drinking, smoking, needle-marks and all! Stay one of the few good ones that exist. Even though the prostitute's words resound in your head, the girl who will appreciate your changed ways will come along, I am just sure of it.

  2. Nooo!!

    Maybe you are looking in the wrong places?

    You are a catch and please do not forget it :)

  3. Yeah so I just want to say, when did we start taking the advice of prostitutes. She's a prostitute for God's sake, not a relationship expert.

    Hang in there. Dating sucks, no?

  4. Yeah, I’m sorry Cheryl. I have not really been taking advice from prostitutes, used intervenes drugs, or owned chloroform. I was just saying that to advance my point. I am sorry to be such a liar.